Sometimes in life there are bigger things in store for you that you aren’t aware of yet – these are called blessings. But those blessings aren’t earned without a little training and perseverance first -these are called trials. The hardest part about having these trials though is that it is sometimes very difficult to see the blessing at the end until you are finally there. And even then sometimes you won’t recognize the blessings you’ve earned until later in life.
Trials and challenges are designed to strengthen you and teach you something. Looking back I am grateful for the skills and values I have learned because of those hard times. In the moment though it is hard to remember that you will get through it. That you will be stronger because of it and that you will gain something from it. I often find myself wondering “Why me? Why can’t life just go the way I want it to?” but after I vent and cry and let all of my negative thoughts and feelings out I think rationally.
Ignoring your feelings is never a good way to go. It will make the process longer and more difficult I promise. Find someone you trust and talk to them about what is on your mind. Your feelings are real no matter how silly or selfish they seem. You are feeling them so obviously they mean something to you. Talking to someone helps you release stress, makes the situation a reality, and also helps you feel validated and supported. It can make all the difference to have someone understand and help you.
I once was in a performing group called Raging Red and the director is one of the most incredible woman I have ever known. One day she came in and told us about her light switch. She said that whenever she is feeling negative or angry she “flips” her light switch from on to off. This mental image reminds her that it is her choice on how to react to a situation. Once she envisions herself turning her switch on she is telling herself that she is in control. She also told us that if she was going to put so much energy into something it might as well be fun and positive to make everything worth while.
Something so simple and yet so powerful. I think I always knew that I could control my reactions to something but I don’t think I realized that it really was that easy. I nay not in complete control of my life but I am in complete control of how I live my life. Obviously every circumstance is different and I am not saying that you can’t get emotional about something. However, you can control the outcome.
How you react to something will completely change how you learn and what you gain. For example, lets say your friend lies to you about why she didn’t attend your party. You have a couple of options here but probably the most effective option would be to approach her calmly and just talk about what she did, how it effected you, and what you both can do in the future to handle it differently. Chances are your relationship will grow stronger because you handled it in a respectful and positive way but both came to a mutual understanding with results.
Your attitude towards something can either help you or make your journey harder. You are more inclined to learn and grow from trials with a positive attitude vs. a negative one. You will feel more supported and more in control if you just take a step back and look at the big picture. Stop asking yourself “why am I being punished” and start asking yourself “what can I gain from this”.
There is nothing that comes your way that you can’t handle. And there is nothing that you did to ask for it. It was given to you whether you like it or not. So you can either fight it to the end and still have to deal with it, or you can work with it and control the outcome.
It’s not easy to keep a positive attitude toward something that is testing your abilities. Those feelings of frustration and anger will still be there but you don’t have to let it get in the way of you living your life. Take a deep breath, make time to have some fun or relax, and accept that it is happening and that it won’t go away until you deal with it.
How do you keep perspective in difficult situations?